The comparison trap

“Other people are something, which makes me something else.”

Separation. Division. Unworthiness.

(Yet another subtle slant on the Conditional external validation paradigm.)

Leaving us seeking cues OUT THERE in the world around us

… for how we should feel in here.

***

Exhausting.

Unfulfilling.

Ridiculous.

Brutal.

Inevitable.

UNTIL… you become aware, then it becomes your choice.

***

Let’s break it down

1 Other people are something…

We are already making erroneous judgment on other people based on their outward facing character. How they appear to the outside world.

We never have a clue as to what is going on in the inner world of another. Until they share with us.

2 …which makes me something else.

Let’s take the example of “extroversion” you observe someone who has learned to speak to audiences.

You subconsciously compare their outward self (the person speaking words to others) with your inner self (the feeling in your solar plexus)

Your mind immediately creates the narrative which says “look at the GAP” between me (the feeling in my solar plexus) and them (the person speaking words out loud to others)

Yet it’s a false comparison.

***

In fact all comparisons between “me” and “you” are flawed in the same way.

We are ALWAYS comparing inner worlds with outward projections. 🔥

And here’s the real catch: it is ALWAYS the inner world result which you are seeking

It is never the external;

Achievement

Acceptance

Attainment

Approval

That you are truly seeking. It is always how you believe those things will make you feel IN HERE.

Which itself comes from the cause and effect paradigm.

We have it all backwards.

***

How can I say this with such certainty?

I have coached hundreds of men and women from all human demographics and levels of external success.

CEOs

Founders

MDs

Directors

No one escapes the comparison trap.

UNTIL.

They realise, in the coaching space, that what they have been seeking all along.

Could only ever be found in one place.

Within themselves. 😁

Beautifully simple. Available to us all, whenever we are ready to find it.

Newquay harbour, Cornwall UK